I often see people who get so caught up in the lives of others and who ar so easily influenced by what others think. I'm a firm believer in being uniquely "YOU". Sure, the world and people around us play a huge part in molding us into the people that we are, but being you is being true to yourself and loving the life you're living!

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Why are you single?

If you're like me then you've been hit with that question hundreds of times. Is there really an answer for it other than "I haven't met Mr. Right yet..."? Well, I'm a 29 year old Christian woman with a Master's degree, good job, good credit and no children. One would think that I'd be HOT on the market, right? For some reason that hasn't been the case. I've had good and bad luck dating. Needless to say I've never been dumped. So, why am I single....? I guess I find myself asking myself that same question.

Many people want to blame statistics of the black man (e.g. prison, gangs, dead, etc.) But I don't know what to think about that... then there's Oprah and other's that are encouraging young, black women to start dating white men. Hmmm... that's a thought I guess but I'm attracted to black men. Then there's the religious people that say wait on the Lord to provide your soul mate. I sometimes feel like I've been "waiting" forever. But of course patience is a virtue.

This is the story of so many of my young, black, educated friends. We vow not to just settle but it seems like such a hard task at times. So, now we are on a new path. A path of contentment in our season of singleness. I think that we are all still young and we should stop worrying about our "biological clocks", heck, look at Halle Berry... she just had a baby in her 40's! There are, of course, alot of benefits to being single. It does have it's fun and carefree times. But of course their are those time that you get lonely and would really like a companion. And there are times when you think about starting a family,etc.

Until that time comes, I feel that single people should stop focusing on "being single". It just weighs you down. It's time to be content and happy and learn to just enjoy life with all it has to offer as a single person. My pastor has said numerous times that "the single folks want to be married and the married folks wish they were single again". Ha! Isn't that something... With the divorce rate being 50% plus (I won't even mention infidelity), I think I can definitely be patient and make sure that I make a very good decision when it comes to choosing a life long mate.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

"Don't Let Nobody Steal Your Joy"

It was November 5, 2008, the day after the United States had elected the first black candidate as the President of the United States. I went to Olive Garden to have lunch with a friend that I hadn’t seen in years. As we walked through the doors we gave the waitress our name and sat down on a bench waiting to be called.

We noticed an older, maybe in their seventy’s, black couple sitting on the bench beside us. They had huge smiles on their faces. They looked at us and the man said, “What do you think about our new President?”. We smiled and responded, “We’re excited and it’s an unbelievable moment.” So, they smiled and we all waited to be seated. My friend and I ate our lunch. We noticed the couple getting up to leave after they had finished eating. On their way out the door the man came up to our table. He had his hat in his hand. He looked at us with and said with great intensity in his voice and with half a smile on his face, “Don’t let nobody steal your joy”. Then he took his hat and placed it on his head and accompanied his wife out the door. It was at that moment that I thought about what all of this really meant to him, to me, to America. I thought about the slaves that strived for so many years to be free; I thought about the blacks that fought so hard and long for equality.

I returned to work that day and everyone was quiet. I remember thinking to myself, "why is everyone quiet today? It was just yesterday that everyone was talking about voting at the polls..." It seemed as if I was the only one excited! And then I thought about what the man in the restaraunt had said, and I just smiled the rest of the day.

Even though my state (Arkansas) did not go for President Obama, it makes me proud to know that America did! It makes me proud that Hillary Clinton ran such a tight race and that she empowered so many women and proved that even a woman can be President. I am glad to be a part of this change in America and I know that a lot of that change starts with me.

I have said all of this to say that anyone can do anything their heart desires. All it takes is determination and discipline. I believe that people, especially women, should aim high and strive to accomplish their dreams/goals. We often face people telling us what we can and cannot do and it dampens our spirits and we lose ambition. So, the next time you have someone telling you that you can't go another step, that you're not good enough, not the right skin color/shade, not skinny enough, etc. just remember these words: "Don't let nobody steal your joy". ~Creni Mone't~